Would you like to contribute?
[Shot of a castle atop a treachorous cliff. A wolf howls]
[ BARON ÜNDERBHEIT walks into a room where 3 of his minions are sitting around a table]
ÜNDERBHEIT: Minions. Your baron has returned.
MINIONS: All hail Baron Ünderbheit.
ÜNDERBHEIT: I wish to be brought up to date on all affairs of Ünderland. CATCLOPS, what have you to report?
CATCLOPS: Tourism has skyrocketed at the Well of Bitter Sorrows and Ünderbheit Birth Crevasse since you enacted the mandatory attendance edict.
ÜNDERBHEIT: Told you. [pause] GIRL HITLER?
GIRL HITLER: Benzine chewables have doubled production in the child slave mines. Dilly-dallying saw a brief spike but we stabilized it by removing the feet of the alpha males and the [screaming] popular girls!
ÜNDERBHEIT: Good. Good. MANIC 8-BALL, how are things in R und D (R&D)
[ MANIC 8-BALL shakes his torso and “Outlook Good” appears on his chest.]
ÜNDERBHEIT: Excellent. My friends, let us give a toast to me. You have all drunk deep of my cup of villainous plenty. Perhaps too deep.
CATCLOPS: Uh Oh.
ÜNDERBHEIT: It's come to my attention that each of you at this hallowed table has betrayed me.
CATCLOPS: Sir, I...
ÜNDERBHEIT: Silence! Your pleas for mercy will not be heard. I know all about the skimming off the top, the planned coup d'etat, and yes the whispered comments and poorly drawn caricatures. You stand guilty. However, you all know me as a fair man. I see no reason why we can't simply part ways amicably. I'll allow you to gracefully resign your posts in the court of Ünderland and that will be the end of it. And just to prove I hold no grudges, I have prepared a special parting gift for each of you from my recent trip. If you'll kindly look beneath your chairs.
[Minions reach beneath chairs and pull something out]
CATCLOPS: Uh, tiger balm. I don't get it.
GIRL HITLER: Well, maybe he's saying he's sore at us and so he's giving us balm to soothe.
CATCLOPS: That's retarded. Sir, what exactly...
[they all notice that the Baron has left]
CATCLOPS: [standing up] Where'd he go? I knew it! I knew it! He's going to kill us, isn't he?
[MANIC 8-BALL shakes himself: “Signs Point to Yes”]
[Steel doors open and white tigers enter the room. CATCLOPS' cat lets out a frightened “Meowr”]
CATCLOPS: Aw, crap!
[GIRL HITLER screams throughout.]
[Tigers jump on all 3 minions. MANIC 8 BALL's chest reveals “Out Look Bad”]
[Switch to a hallway outside the meeting room. The Baron approaches MANSERVANT.]
MANSERVANT: Shall I have the maintenance crew clean the room, my master?
ÜNDERBHEIT: No, not yet Manservant.
[The Baron pulls out a flashing remote control]
[Back in the meeting room]
GIRL HITLER: Ooooh, tiger bomb!
[Back to hallway. Door to meeting room bulges after the explosion]
MANSERVANT: A most thorough and decisive action Your Brilliance. You have eliminated all of the enemies of Ünderland in one fell swoop.
ÜNDERBHEIT: No, Manservant, not all of them. One yet remains.... VENTURE!
[edit] Notes
Only first scene so far, up until opening credits.
